Sibling Un-rivalry

I have always had an issue with the Meatball and Spaghetti being 6 years apart. Not that I had planned their ages intentionally, but I guess in the grand scheme of things I would've liked to have seen a smaller age gap. I assumed that a smaller age gap would bring them closer together naturally or that they would just have more in common and relate as friends not just siblings. I was afraid that because of their difference in age they wouldn't be as bonded. But what did I know? I'm an only child. And now realize I didn't have a thing to worry about.

Ever since I was pregnant with Spaghetti though, I've almost always have gotten annoyed with family members (the Colonel and Rambo included) telling the Meatball how now that she was going to be a big sister, she had to help me out as much as she could. "Okay, Meatball, be sure to help your Mommy around the house now." "Meatball you have to help take care of your little sister for your mommy now."  I would cringe every time someone would say something to that effect. I wasn't looking at our newest addition to turn the Meatball into Mommy's Little Helper or Mommy 2.0! I was worried that all this Meatball helping me around the house and with her sister would make her grow up too fast. All this advise motivated me to preserve Meatball's childhood as much as I could, especially when Spaghetti was born.

For the nine months of Spaghetti's life, I never asked the Meatball for help. I pretty much let her do her own thing (color, play legos, watch The Electric Company) and made sure that she knew she didn't need to help. For a while there I thought what I was doing worked well, however, I started to notice a couple things that I didn't expect. First, the Meatball wasn't connecting with her sister. She didn't know how to play with an infant and well there's not much playing going on with an infant. Secondly, the Meatball was starting to do more and more things by herself which seemed pretty isolating. Third, Pretty Pants and I were exhausted.

So I finally asked for help. I needed to take a shower and had asked the Meatball if she could just watch her sister. To my surprise the Meatball was very happy to take on this responsibility. It was almost like she took on this secondary maternal role towards her sister, which in reality, was her falling into the role of big sister! All my fears of her feeling too much obligation, too much responsibility once she had a sibling had diminished as I observed their sibling bond grow through the Meatball taking care of her sister. I guess that's what siblings are supposed to do. And maybe since I didn't have an example to reflect on, I couldn't understand the concept. Today, they are inseparable (at least for now); sleeping, eating, bathing, and playing together. Spaghetti adores the ground Meatball walks on, mimicking her every word and move. In turn, the Meatball adores her little sister, teaching and guiding her just as older sisters should. Do I still cringe at big sister, big obligation remarks? Yes, but in our house, it simply doesn't happen that way. These two have each others' backs, no obligation necessary.